Accept your feelings


Humans are complex . Even people who appear cheerful most of the time may have different emotions throughout any given day .
So don't try to force yourself to feel happy all the time .

Often when we have an uncomfortable feeling , such as sadness , fear or shame , our first reaction is to reject that feeling . Then we may do something to try to get rid of the feeling , such as trying to push it away or using drugs or alcohol to feel better .

Learn to work with what you feel instead of trying to focus only with those emotions that you consider most positive .

According to the recent psychological reasearch ( by David Barlow , Steven Hayes and others ) one of the main causes of psychological problems is the habit of emotional avoidance .

Avoiding negative emotions buys you short term gain at the price of long term pain . When you avoid short term discomfort , of negative emotion you resemble the person who under stress decides to drink . It 'works' , and the next day , when bad feeling comes , he drinks again . So far so good , in the short term . In the long run , however , that person will develop a bigger problem ( addiction ) , in addition to the unsolved issues he had avoided by drinking .

You can think of your emotions as a source of information . Your emotions tell you something about what's going on with you and around you . Emotions , however are not the only source of information available to you . You also have your rational thoughts , your stored knowledge and experience , and your values and goals , informations provided by emotions needs to be appraised and evaluated in light of these other sources inorder for you to decide how to behave in the situation .

Regardless of your emotion . You always have choices of action . Your decision will depend on synthesizing knowledge from many sources . For example , if you and your child are approached by a wild dog while on nature hike , you may feel fear , and with it a desire to flee , but decide to stay and fight the dog to protect your child . In this case , your values ( '' I have a duty to protect my child '') dictated that you '' disobey '' your fear .